***Disclaimer***
This post probably contains the most words I’ve ever written
for this blog. I apologize if it’s too much reading. :P
Fact: I am the first person from my 2016 grad class to get engaged
Fact: Will is the first guy from his 2015 grad class to get
engaged
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| 1st Year Anniversary |
The biggest rumored drama that followed me and Will’s engagement was that we did it to beat everyone else. This was (and still is at some moments) very frustrating to deal with.
Why?
Well, because nobody told me it was a race. If it was a
race, I wish I had known so I coulda made some more fanfare about winning. We
were both just happily living our lives, completely oblivious to the fact that
we were in first place.
This is our
wedding that’s coming up. We’re getting married because it’s what we want and have been building up
towards since 2013. 2013!!! Let that sink in people!!! This engagement
has been a long time coming!
Will and I first talked about marriage in February of 2014.
We were in grades 11 and 10 and sitting at the end of the hall at school during
lunch break. I can’t say I remember ever bringing it up again until June of
2014 when we both agreed we’d be in this for the long haul.
No. Matter. What.
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| 2nd Year Anniversary |
A few people have said it must be nice to have been together
since we were so young because you have less baggage to bring to the
relationship. If what Will and I have is considered ‘less baggage’ I’d hate to see what the next couple has gone through.
We were 16 and 15 years old. Sure we didn’t have that many
years behind us, but there was still ‘baggage’. Providential circumstances grew
us into maturity at young ages. And I really think that being so young was
helpful for us. We were both very quick to understand and easy to forgive. We
were honest. Vulnerable. Sincere. Committed.
July of 2014 we began talking about getting married in the fall
of 2018. Will wanted to buy me a promise ring, but I told him his word was
enough.
We both finished off high school and over the months we
discussed getting married more and more. Originally I wanted to be 20, hence
fall of 2018. But Will managed to convince me to agree to June, then May,
April, January and eventually even December of 2017.
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| 3rd Year Anniversary |
In February of 2017 we began discussing finances and how probable
it would be if we were to *hypothetically* be living together right then with
the incomes and expenses that we had. And it all mathed out with a fair amount
for savings. But when we took out my income and added the expenses of having a
child, we came up short. Will looked at the Microsoft Excel spreadsheet in
front of us and said, “Well, I guess I’ll need a different job.”
To be honest, this decision, as well, was a long time
coming. We had been talking about him switching careers since July of 2016. And
this was a final and huge incentive for him.
The morning of March 11th (our engagement date)
he had a 3 hour long (!!!) interview and was hired.
That evening we were engaged and on a high of how wonderful
the day was with everything falling into place so perfectly for us.
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| Date Night |
It didn’t even cross our minds that we had beat so-and-so in
getting engaged. Not until my friends told me there was talk about it among
other friends and how those people were bitter.
It made me mad. Upset. Confused. Frustrated.
Took me down from the engagement high.
I got so obsessed with how other people were reacting to our engagement.
Thinking about it now, I was upset over the fact that there were
people out there who weren’t happy for us. People who thought it was a competition.
And not something that we did because we were *finally* able to do so.
Anyway.
That is too many words. I hope some of it made sense.
The main thing I want anyone to take away is that:
We got engaged for
us, at a time that was right for us.
And frankly,
I’m done caring about
this whole competition thing.
*I read through this once before posting it, and am not bothering to edit it. I apologize for anything English relating that doesn't work.
AWWWW Aleana...it's very hard not to obsess about "other people" but please realize that usually it's not as bad as you think it is - one or two comments that really shouldn't matter to you anyway. One or two comments from people who are insignificant in your life, people who don't know you the way your family or close friends know you and Will. They are not in your circle of influence so they need not influence you. These are things you need to tell yourselves. It's hard and it may take your whole life to get better at this but you need to start because other wise you will feel you have to justify EVERYTHING you ever do and really you don't have to. You need to be right with God and you need to worry about His opinion of your life the most. So yes, you did get engaged for you but you mostly did it to honor your Father in heaven and in the end you both need to keep your eyes on Jesus and rest in God's love. Now, that's probably the longest comment I've ever written on here!!!
ReplyDeleteLove you lots!! Mom (and Dad too).
A testament to your good up-bringing is the wise conversations you seem to have had. Very mature and such an encouragement! May God richly bless this time of planning.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Cindy Vanderpol