As a long over due follow-up to my post 'Being a Mom at 20 (part 1)' I will be working on a three week series which will go over 3 cons to being a mom at the age of 20.
The three cons to being a mom at the age of 20 that I came up with can be quickly and easily put:
If you're looking for a quick answer ↥There it is↥
And yes, I understand that I had a birthday and am now 21, but I starting writing these posts back when I was 20 and I was waiting to post them during a month that I didn't have much going on, which never happened. Although I may be 21 these are just as relevant.
These points, as with just about everything I post, are specific to me and my situation. Not everyone will experience life the way I am and I don’t mean for these posts to blanket every young mom. What I say is all based on my own opinion and sometimes it’s not easy for me to share the unpleasant parts of my personal life. Please comment out of love and not hate. 😊
The three cons to being a mom at the age of 20 that I came up with can be quickly and easily put:
If you're looking for a quick answer ↥There it is↥
In today's post I share how having a baby at the age of 20 can be difficult. Just plan difficult. For real.
Exhaustion and Inadequacy:
Welcoming a whole brand-spanking-new human into the world is life altering.
Everything changes when you become a parent. Everything. Name one thing that you think hasn’t changed and I’ll argue you on that. 😉
I am a people pleaser.
To my own disadvantage.
I want to live up to everyone else’s standards, be just as good as the next person, and keep so-and-so happy. This feeling of inadequacy is exhausting on its own, let alone acting (or trying to act) on those feelings.
Will I Ever Not Be Tired?
From what I’ve heard from seasoned parents the exhaustion that comes from parenthood never ends until your youngest kid moves out.
When our daughter was born a lot of people said something along the lines of, “You won’t sleep for the next 18 years.”
While we actually do get to sleep through more nights than not, running a functional family during our waking hours is no small feat. There are so many wifey tasks that I am still new to and trying to keep up with while being a more-than-mediocre-mother too. We’re still in the early stages of our family so I can only expect it to get busier from here!
And along with with business, I'll probably get more tired too...
My need for sleep is on a sliding scale. Sometimes I can accomplish all sorts of things until late into the night/early morning, and other days I am ready to get to bed once 8 o’clock rolls around. I try to be aware of what is planned for the next day and plan my amount of pillow-topped hours around that.
When I am running low in my sleep bank I can feel it.
I usually warn Will.
Prepare him to a) Get me into bed ASAP or b) Brace himself for the overly emotional, sometimes hysterical, often anxious wife that is about to be unleashed.
The ball is in his court.
So yeah, exhaustion. This can 8000%ly put strain on the relationship you have with your partner. Yes, having a baby together has ultimately brought us closer together, but we’ve each had our rough patches too. Being on the younger side of life leaves both of us with less people skills than your average 30 year old first time parents. Less people skills means that we’re still navigating how to handle one another while running on fumes.
I Have No Gift To Bring
Let's be real, parenthood is not always what you might have expected it to be. Social media, TV shows, and YouTube channels are quick to make being a mom, and especially a young mom, fun and easy. Trust me, while I was pregnant I feel into the hole of watching lotttts of '16 And Pregnant' YouTube videos…
It's not always easy with smiles and laughs. It's getting thrown up on, pooped on, and peed on. It's not doing housework or putting makeup on because snuggles are more important.
It's constantly feeling judged. It's not having your typical teenager and early 20s experiences' because you grew up somewhere between 17 and 19. It's stressful, confusing, emotional, and not one bit easy.
Feeling not good enough is dangerous. Feeling too young, feeling like you don’t have your sh*t together enough to be raising a family. All tricky feelings. At the end of the day, our children aren’t going to know we ever felt this way.
All our baby girl is going to know is love.
And so on the nights (it only happened one night, I’m exaggerating) when I’m crying on the nursery floor because our lil’ darling has pooped through her FOURTH sleeper for the night and I was already DONE WITH THIS SITUATION TWO POOPS AGO!
EVERYONE ELSE HAS PERFECT CHILDREN WITH PERFECT DIGESTIVE TRACKS!
On those nights, when Will joins us and just lets me cry, that’s okay.
It's hard, but okay.
It really is.
Because we love our little girl with the most immense, sacrificial love either of us have ever experienced.
The Sun Always Comes Out
Having a child of my own has taught me a lot about relationships. It’s taught me the seriousness of partnerships, the trust of friendships, and the love of family. Raising a child forces you to learn the skills for a healthy relationship. My daughter has helped me get better at listening, nurturing, and respecting other people, and that has carried over naturally to my relationship with my husband.
Despite any downfall, there are SO many good times, that will forever be in my heart.
We created this life. One day at a time. More and more each hour.
Together we are now watching her develop. One day at a time. More and more each hour.
"Being a mother is not about what you
gave up to have a child,
but what you gained
from being blessed by one."
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